Thursday, July 13, 2017


Sticks & Stones Can Break Your Bones but Words Can Damn Near Kill Me l EJ Apicello

If someone asked me what I would rather have happen – a solid punch to the gut or a glimpse into the mind of someone who was judging me, I would gladly accept the punch to the gut. Physical pain can be handled and forgotten but the emotional pain that
comes from hearing negative words, even from a stranger, is devastating and long lasting. The bruise to your psyche you experience from some well positioned hate words will last well beyond any physical bruise you receive. Did you ever notice, that our brains have a funny way of cycling these negative words on a never ending hamster wheel within our minds, often keeping them just below the surface until you least expect it. Words have the ability to cut a person, deeply. The hardest thing about these cuts is that they are invisible to the naked eye, because cuts made by words do not show  to the outside world, they settle somewhere else. They settle on your confidence, make their home on your happiness and eat away at your ability to believe in yourself.

All of those hamster wheels of negativity are spinning at warp speed in my mind right now. This is my very first blog post. Ever. Which means I am currently thinking of a thousand reasons why I may fail at this new venture. What I am beginning to realize however, is that among all the negative “what ifs” there is one positive “I can” that I am latching onto with all of my might. Life’s a bumpy, chaotic road that none of us have a map to. When you think about it, we are all in this together trying to stumble through with our best foot forwards most of the time but at the end of the day, no one, not even the most powerful person on this chunk of space rock, has any idea what the future holds! Really puts your problems into perspective doesn’t it my friends? I am trying to grow personally and professionally everyday, to surround myself with people who believe in the same positive message that I am trying to pass on – that you and you alone have control over the choices you make at each of the crossroads you come to in life. You can choose to move forwards and pursue your happiness, or stay static choosing the happiness of others over your own. Sounds like a pretty common sense message doesn’t it? You see, I believe that the things that happen to us are not what make us special, they do not define who we are. Instead, it is the choices we make at each of our crossroads and how we choose to handle what life throws at us that defines who we are. Everyone has gone through something terrible in their lives and trying to compare your awful to theirs is a defeating exercise that will only result in hurt egos and feelings. We need to come together and realize that we are all stumbling through this playbook called life as blindly as our neighbors and could probably use a little help along the way.

My life has been dedicated to believing that I had to have the answer to everything, know how every scenario was going to play out. I spent my life putting others happiness before my own to the point that I created an image of myself that I put on display to everyone while simultaneously burying my real true self. This was so self destructive that I was causing a critical piece of who I was to slowly die and I didn’t even realize it. I chose things at the crossroads of my life that made the people around me, my family and friends, happy. Why you ask? Perhaps you should turn that question around on yourself my friends. Have you ever put someone else’s happiness before your own? If so, why? What was the reason for putting your choices on the back burner and allowing someone else to decide your path down that crossroads? Take a moment and comment below. Tell me your story, share the decisions you have made at your crossroads. Who knows, maybe you will see a new direction, a new road, that you never knew existed that just might be the path you were meant to walk on.

About the Author

Welcome to EJ’s real, crazy, emotional, probably too honest journey. She is an everyday girl in this everyday world trying to keep her head above water. Within the pages of this book you will learn about the things that have broken EJ down and the steps she is taking to build back up. You will see, that this story is written in a unique, general, conversational voice, which was her choice. She wants you to be able to picture yourself in her shoes, relate her trials and tribulations to yours and see that you too can find your happiness. Even if you don’t realize this yet, every single one of us possesses things inside of ourselves that we didn't know were there. It took EJ’s life taking a crazy right turn and dumping her at the lowest possible point before she could see the strength within herself. We are not defined by what we do, we are defined by the choices we make. EJ decided when she put pen to paper that she wanted her choices to start defining her as strong, confident, secure and above all else, happy. So, who am EJ? How about who she was - a self-loathing shell who put everyone else’s happiness before her own. Herein lies a story about finding that happiness and all of the ups and downs along the way. See who EJ was and who she is trying to become and maybe, somewhere in there, you will find out a little about yourself too.

Her latest book is the self-help, Your Crossroads. Your Choice.



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