Back Story: MEANINGFULL: 23 LIFE-CHANGING STORIES OF CONQUERING DIETING, WEIGHT, & BODY IMAGE ISSUES
By Alli Spotts-De Lazzer
From idea to finished book, the evolution of MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, & Body Image Issues was less than skill-full much of the time. But it got there!
Around 2012.
While a dietitian and I collaborated as a treatment team, we diverged from professional into personal. We shared things we wished someone had told us during our eating and body image battles—how we might have made some different choices with more knowledge.
That conversation was a seed, but I had no idea how to grow something from it.
Cut to 2014.
I attended my first cause-driven flash mob dance event: One Billion Rising. It was educational, empowering, and FUN, a special combination I had not experienced often, if ever.
At One Billion Rising, the education kicked off the event, and I recall it was tough to take in, painful. I couldn’t wait to get to the dance. During the “Break the Chains” routine, I remember realizing that no matter what language the participants’ mouths spoke, dance didn’t care. The individual’s vulnerability countered with the power of so many diverse people united by movement? It was magical!
I dragged two colleagues to the next One Billion Rising. After again having received some education and having had a blast dancing, messing up dancing, and cracking ourselves up, the three of us began to walk home. One said, “We should do something like this for Eating Disorders Awareness Week.” I replied, “Are you serious? We could.” I believed I had the special events and dance backgrounds to pull it together with help.
It took a full year to create the movement with a message: #ShakeIt for Self-Acceptance!®. During that time, I faced various obstacles, from funding to legalities to location. Yet, when I feel something could be
impactful to others and deep in my gut, “no” answers make me mad, which pushes a button in me to keep going.
The topic of eating and body image issues seemed to make venues uncomfortable. “No, we don’t want that in our mall,” “No, that’s not allowed here,” and “Not here, no.” We wanted to do #ShakeIt to educate and reduce the shame and secrecy surrounding eating and body image issues and eating disorders!
We ended up booking a public space because of free speech. And here, we move into what became the model for MeaningFULL’s format.
Cut to 2015 and 2016.
We held the rallies at the 3rd Street Promenade: 2015 honored National Eating Disorders Awareness Week and 2016 honored National Mental Health Awareness Month. In both, I wanted to see if the speeches could pull in passersby. So I did experiments. I gave a 2-minute limit, asked the speakers to focus on just enough pain for the triumph to pay off, and emphasized "uplifting." I also edited the heck out the speeches. Pretending I was an attendee, what was just enough pain to pump me to want to cheer?
I had seen what I felt was a gap in how we teach about mental health—I’m sensitive to feeling preached at or as if I’m being “educated.” I sort of shut down inside or feel rebellious like so many of us probably do in those situations. At #ShakeIt, I was mindful of delivering any difficult information only after people were pumped and having fun—hopefully, as I felt during One Billion Rising's flash mob.
Cut to 2017.
Something happened in my personal life to make things quiet. In the stillness, that initial seed planted during that treatment team conversation long ago began to grow. My passion project, #ShakeIt for Self-Acceptance! taught me that triumphant, real-life stories could catch people's interest, could teach without preaching, and could leave people feeling good, even while/after learning tough information. Also, Chicken Soup for the Soul had been one of my favorite-ever series. It certainly proved that short stories could affect others (I’m an extremely slow reader, so I need short pieces). Adding all this together, I assembled a pitch for a publisher I knew.
The response was quick and to the point: it wouldn’t work. They didn't think that the short stories could offer enough meat for a payoff on these incredibly complex and sensitive topics (dieting, weight, body image, and eating disorders).
My gut wouldn’t let it go. My button got pushed again. Continuing to believe in the basic concept, I had to figure it out. There were no prototypes to copy that I could find. It fused too many genres.
Here’s where MeaningFULL became a “we.” I sometimes had to hire professionals to teach me what I didn’t know. Repeatedly, I workshopped the proof of concept. Beautiful, generous, smart souls guided or added to the evolution. I took in their feedback and notes. The incredibly patient contributors put up with sometimes a full year of revisions and back and forths.
Cut to 2020.
The proof of concept had evolved into the actual book. It contained diverse, real-life short stories, a range of struggles and triumphs, and powerful perspectives. It provided a space to elaborate as a professional, in case anything could confuse a reader. I had the three sections I’d wanted: what I learned, what I wish I had known, and you are not alone. MeaningFULL wasn’t a program or plan. It put zero pressure on readers. Packed with education that didn’t FEEL like education, it was simply people’s stories that readers could enjoy, connect with, and learn from (or not).
Pursuing getting published resulted in months filled with rejections or no responses at all. Sometimes agents or publishers would complement the book's concept, but it didn't "fit" their list.
Suddenly, I got three yeses in a week. Unsolicited Press calls themselves a “kick-ass small press.” And yes, in my experience, they are—let’s also add kind, social justice-minded, and passionate about books.
Cut to today.
If you end up liking MeaningFULL, please be sure to share it with someone who you think would enjoy it, too!
Alli Spotts-De Lazzer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, and eating and body image specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles, California. Alli has presented educational workshops at conferences, graduate schools, and hospitals; published articles in academic journals, trade magazines, and online information hubs; and appeared as an eating disorders expert on local news. A believer in service, she has co-chaired committees for the Academy for Eating Disorders and the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (“iaedp”), facilitated an ongoing eating and body image support group, and created #ShakeIt for Self-Acceptance! – a series of public events sparking conversations about self-acceptance. She was named the 2017 iaedp Member of the Year, and Mayor Garcetti recognized July 13, 2017 as “#ShakeIt for Self-Acceptance! Day” in the City of Los Angeles. MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, & Body Image Issues was inspired from both Alli’s personal and professional experiences.
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Title: MEANINGFULL: 23 LIFE-CHANGING STORIES OF CONQUERING DIETING, WEIGHT, & BODY IMAGE ISSUES
Author: Alli Spotts-De Lazzer
Publisher: Unsolicited Press
Pages: 282
Genre: Self-Help / Memoir
BOOK BLURB:
MEANINGFULL: 23 LIFE-CHANGING STORIES OF CONQUERING DIETING, WEIGHT, & BODY IMAGE ISSUES is a blend of motivational self-help, memoir, psychology, and health and wellness. Alli Spotts-De Lazzer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an expert in eating and body image issues, and a woman on the other side of her own decades-long struggle with food and body.
A $702 billion global diet/nutrition and weight loss industry shows that people worldwide are devoted to achieving maximum health and their desired bodies. Yet mainstream approaches are failing these individuals, and sadly, science proves this. Intent on gaining the “health” and “happiness” that diets promise, consumers keep trying. They become sad and frustrated, believing they’re failing when they’re not. They simply need a legitimate, alternative path, which MeaningFULL offers. Through the contributors’ diverse, real-life mini-memoirs followed by Spotts-De Lazzer’s commentaries, readers will learn about themselves and discover their unique, unconventional formulas for conquering their issues. Along the way, MeaningFULL will also guide them towards more self-appreciation, wellness, and fulfillment.
PRAISE
“Have you ever thought that the painful experiences you’ve had after falling off a diet or being uncomfortable with your body are yours alone? No one else could have ever felt as sad, frustrated, or disappointed as you have! No one else could have struggled with self-esteem or a lack of inner trust as you have! The truth is that these feelings and experiences are universal in a world of diet culture, that only values you for an idealized size or shape of your body and judges you for your eating choices. MeaningFull is a relatable, down-to-earth book that can help you to not feel so alone and isolated in your relationship with food and your body. By reading the stories of a multitude of people who have found their way out of the trap of diet culture and by reading the clear and valuable guidelines and advice that Alli Spotts-De Lazzer presents, you will finally find the hope for a future of joy and satisfaction in your eating and a sense of respect and dignity for the miraculous body that is yours.”
-Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, FAND, Nutrition Therapist, Author of The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens and The Intuitive Eating Journal, Co-author of Intuitive Eating, The Intuitive Eating Workbook, and The Intuitive Eating Card Deck
In “Meaning Full” Alli Spotts has put together a trove of inspiring stories for anyone interested in tackling problems with eating, weight and body image. The various contributors in the book take readers on a summary of their own healing journey providing useful ideas and strategies that others can apply where appropriate. Readers not only get honest, personal, accounts, but Alli’s summary at the end of each case provides clarification, cites research, and gives further resources on the various subjects brought up. It is refreshing to read a book where individuals dealing with weight and body image struggles describe overcoming their plight.
-Carolyn Costin, Director of the Carolyn Costin Institute, 8 Keys To Recovering From An Eating Disorder
For parents who have a child struggling with any kind of eating or body image issues, it’s common to feel isolated, scared, confused, and even ashamed. The stigma and stereotypes around these issues and sometimes serious illnesses add an extra burden for so many families, and it can be hard to find other people who truly “get it.” Parents looking for hope, insight, and connection will find many poignant stories in MeaningFULL. Caring for a young person through healing from these issues-from seemingly minor self-image problems to serious eating disorders-can take an emotional toll, and families often need a lot of support. Alli Spotts-De Lazzer’s collection of diverse personal stories can help parents feel less alone, shed the guilt or self-blame, and start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
-Oona Hanson, MA, MA, Educator and Parent Coach
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