Back Story: Mom's Search for Meaning
By Melissa M. Monroe
After my two-year-old daughter Alice died in her sleep of unknown causes just eleven days after her second birthday, her death was classified as Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC). Obviously, I was, and am, devastated, but initially I was absolutely paralyzed with grief, guilt, and PTSD. I began my blog “Mothering in Memoriam” about a month after Alice died because I could barely speak, and folks wanted to know how I was doing. They also wanted to know what happened. So, I began documenting my healing journey.
I thought some friends and family would read the blog, and I'd save my breath and sanity because re-telling the story over and over was traumatizing. But the blog took on a life of its own, something I didn't expect. I received hundreds of notes from people telling me my words helped them. I figured if I helped even one other person while saving myself, this book was a mission worth undertaking. Eventually, my friend Teresa Strasser (author of Exploiting My Baby and Making It Home) ordered me to send her chapters, and this book was born.
The title came from an editing note Teresa used to describe the book. And then I remembered that grief guru David Kessler says that "finding meaning" is the sixth stage of grief. While discussing potential titles with another friend, “Mom's Search for Meaning” was the clear winner. After Alice died, I found myself searching for meaning long before I knew it was advisable to do so. In cases like Alice's, where no cause of death can be determined, one's need for "closure" becomes unattainable, and therefore, finding meaning can become a driving force. It was for me, at least.
Website: http://www.melissamariemonroe.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/tripleMMeaning
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaMarieMonroeAuthor
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@triplemmeaning
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissammonroe/
Struggling to advance her timeline beyond that of her daughter’s – and still eager to be the keeper of Alice’s stories – Melissa began to write about Alice’s life and the impact of her death. She became her own lab rat, trying various approaches to healing with the hope that her experience might be helpful to others stuck in a trauma time loop.
As much a study of trauma’s effect on time perception as it is an intimate view into the heart and mind of a bereaved mother, Mom’s Search for Meaning shows us that meaning resides in the search itself…with a spoonful of gallows humor to help the medicine go down.
Praise:
“Melissa doesn’t just say the way out is through, she very much takes us through what that looks like. And in being so specific, I think it’s universally relatable. The final chapter is “To be, or not to be”-level work. This is mom-loss Shakespeare.” Teresa Strasser, author of Exploiting My Baby, the upcoming Making It Home, and co-host of the syndicated TV show The List
“Melissa’s book provides powerful testimony to the strength of the human spirit and our vulnerable, complicated, and yet inspirational ability to heal.” Kim Cookson, Psy.D., founder of the Trauma and Resiliency Training and Services Program at the Southern California Counseling Center
“It is the story of how one person found her way – with grief and with pain, but also with humor and grace – back to a life that would be forever different, but which couldn’t be, and wouldn’t be, anything less than purposeful and honest.” Dan Koeppel, author of To See Every Bird on Earth, Banana: The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World, and Every Minute is a Day
“The explorations of compassion are deep, Melissa’s march toward love is inspiring, and the writing is beautiful. It is a book about child loss that – at times – made me laugh out loud. I will never stop thinking about this book. And I am so glad.” Liz Friedlander, film and television director
Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/yrmuumc6
Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/mryd9z7s
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/123189454
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